through the fear

A couple of weeks ago we decided spur-of-the-moment to go hike Boulder Cave. Now, everyone who knows me well enough is aware that I have severe claustrophobia. The entire ride there, my chest was tight and I didn't know what to expect. This was mine and the girls first time there, but Robert had taken Jace a couple of times when he was just a little guy. It was a hot 100 degrees, but we packed up iced water bottles, flashlights and snacks and headed up the trail. The girls did so good and I was especially impressed with Asha (you never know what SPD/ASD is going to give you with a new experience).  Emilia was slightly fussy since we started around her naptime and Robert ended up carrying her on his shoulders most of the way. It was also super packed with families and other hikers. Once we got to the cave entrance I was already hyperventilating but trying to keep it to myself so I wouldn't scare the girls. 10ft in I stopped and said "I can't. I'm going back." Robert came right over and told me I was already there, going in was probably the worst part and that I could and WOULD do it. I honestly think I kept going just because I didn't want the girls to see me give up. And I didn't you guys. I kept going and made it out alive and in one piece! I'm in no hurry to go into anymore caves, but I'm still pretty proud that I pushed through one of my biggest fears.